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Big in China: What To Expect When Using Blued in China

Our latest contributing opinion piece looks into what its like using Blued in China.

Let’s get straight (as much as we can) to the point. If you are visiting China or you are an expat residing in China, and you want to hook up with someone local, you don’t need to know Chinese, even though Chinese people barely know any English.

Besides the fact that there are many translation apps that could help you flirt with Chinese twinks, hunks, bears and otters, there is also Blued, a Chinese alternative to Grindr that comes with translation tools. Spoiler alert: you will receive many other tools with Blued, If you catch my drift.

The app even includes a live broadcast option, similar to erotic performing websites such as Chaturbate. I must admit that the opportunity of seeing naked Chinese guys showcasing their striptease talents to their followers got me feeling both excited and confused, which I guess is a winning formula for a decent auto-foreplay. Once you start communicating with whoever you find attractive, don’t be surprised If you receive a message Show me your chicken or How big is your chicken, since the app often provides literal translation. Yet, who knows, some Chinese bear might be inviting himself for dinner at your place.

It is said that you will inevitably catch “yellow fever” in China, although I know many gay men and straight women who reject the idea. To be honest, I was ambivalent before I found myself in the candy store called Blued. Days of staring at juicy Chinese chests were behind me; it was time to press them against my chest. Ever since I got a taste of Blued, white guys aren’t really my panacea anymore. If I was to choose between a top-notch European stud and an average Chinese hunk, I would absolutely pick the Chinese hunk.

Users on Blued label themselves as 1, 0.5 or 0, which is equivalent to top, versatile and bottom. After all, this nation is known to be brilliant at math #quantitativeanalysis.

When on Blued, expect the question “Make love?” to pop up right away. They will also often ask if you ate, since that is the same as talking about the weather in the UK or talking about butt plugs in California. Contrary to many other Asian countries, when both sides are not able to host, the solution comes easy. People in China are keen on renting a hotel room for the sexy occasion, and they believe it’s their responsibility. Your job is to take an Uber to the hotel. In case you are the host, keep in mind they consider it normal to sleep over after you had sex. Excuses such as how you have to take a good rest because you are getting up early won’t work here in China.

Now, let’s not forget about the main prejudice Chinese guys have to face – small dicks. Breaking news: according to my empirical research, there is no significant statistical difference in the size of the penis between Europeans and Chinese. A more obvious cultural difference is that the first thing a Chinese guy will usually take off are his socks.

Further on, they are extremely tactile and sensitive and universally into nipple play. In fact, I’d go as far as saying the nipple is the central erogenous zone of Asia. My research also showed that in every gay household, you will find lubricant and a portrait of Mao.

Even though Blued is bigger and more exciting than Grindr (p.s. it was created by an ex-cop), it might not be a sufficient reason to visit China. However, If you are already there or you are planning a visit, don’t miss trying it out.

Editor’s note: The Blued app is available across most of the world, and isn’t strictly limited to China.

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