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Five Girls Every Queer Girl Has Dated

Any girl who has dated another girl is sure to recognise at least one of these five type of girls.

Lesbihonest. Girls who date other girls tend to run into some stereotypes while navigating the dating pool. And for those who aren’t that experienced yet, trust me, eventually you’ll end up encountering some of these classic “types” along the road.

Much like a local gay bar, see if you can recognise any of your exes in this list.

#1 The Closeted 

You know she likes girls. She knows she likes girls. But since her friends and family are none the wiser, that means no to being seen in public and yes to being introduced as her “friend”.

She’ll constantly refuse any romantic outings where people might see her, and if they ever do, the way she immediately shoves you off her will feel like a slap in the face.

And yes, she’ll tell you that she’s planning on letting them know soon, but it never happens. You can and will get frustrated and a little insecure while dating someone who’s still in the closet — because if she’s in the closet, then you’re also back in the closet.

#2 The One Who’s Your Clone

Have you ever shown up to a date wearing the exact same outfit? It’s exactly as uncomfortable as it sounds. She could be your twin — you definitely get mistaken as sisters often enough.

Exact same interests. Exact same style. Sometimes even the same name. This may sound like a dream to some people, but when you actually try it, it’s just too weird.

Even the most narcissistic of lesbians would rather not date themselves, because it will definitely get a little awkward, outside and especially inside the bedroom.

#3 The Straight Girl

Girls, repeat after me: she will not “come around”. She’ll tell you you’re the only girl she’s ever liked, and that, if she were a lesbian, she’d totally be into you!

But she’s simply not.

She doesn’t want to let you go mostly because you’re a pretty good makeout session, but that’s as far as it’s going to go. Pure experimentation gone too far. After all,  she “couldn’t see herself with a girl for real”.

Eventually, after feeding into your straight girl crush and hopelessly praying that maybe she’ll realize you’re the one, you’ll get tired of it, break up, and she’ll go back to dating guys.

#4 The Heartbreaker

You finally think you’ve found someone you’re really into. You’re head over heels for her alpha, carefree attitude. And right when you think things are headed in the right direction?

She ghosts you.

This girl is experienced. She’s been with all the girls you know, and probably has broken all of their hearts. And sure, they never lasted long, but you thought she finally wanted to settle down.

Weeks, or even months after the “break up”, you finally get an answer from her that she “just wasn’t feeling it anymore”. And weeks before that, she was already onto the next relationship.

#5 The One For You

Okay, okay, so maybe we haven’t all met this one yet. But eventually, just when you think you should give up, Mrs. Right comes along at just the right time! She gets you like nobody else does, and you could talk together for hours. The honeymoon stage seemingly never ends.

Suddenly, you know every other heartbreak was just leading up to her. You know she’s the one! And she’s absolutely worth the wait.

Written by Natalie Maza

I’m Alie, your friendly neighbourhood queer Latina! Between juggling freelance writing and graphic design school, I spend a surprising amount of time looking at memes. You can find me at @alieangeles on Instagram.

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